3.6.1 Significance Of Marriage

In the foregoing five chapters we have dealt with laws relating to the self-development of the community as a whole, or, as they are generally called, the laws governing the relations of man to God — the religious duties of man in a stricter sense. In the terminology of Fiqh, these are classed as ‘ibadat. They undoubtedly relate not only to the spiritual growth of man but also to the growth of the community, or rather humanity, as a whole. But the scope of the religion of Islam is, as already stated, very wide and covers the whole field of the relations of man to man, as well as that of man to God. The object of the laws relating to this part of human life is to teach man his duties and obligations to others, and to show him how to lead a happy life in this world in his relations with others. Technically, these are called mu‘amalat or transactions, and include the laws relating to home life, civic life and the political life of man. In the Fiqh terminology, the mu‘amalat are either contracts and agreements, to which the mutual consent of the contracting parties is required, or matters depending on the will of a single person, or general laws and regulations.

In all these matters the Islamic law imposes certain restrictions, for the benefit of society, upon the free acts of men as members of that society. The Arabic word for these restrictions is hudud. In the Holy Qur’an, the expression hudud Allah (limits of God) is used in connection with the Divine ordinances on various subjects, such as matters relating to marriage and divorce and good treatment of women, fasting and laws of inheritance, and also in a general sense relating to all kinds of restrictive ordinances, but never with regard to punishments inflicted for the infringement of certain laws, that being the sense in which this word has been used in the Hadith and jurisprudence (Fiqh).

The basic principle in the matter of all restrictive ordinances is that a thing which is not disallowed is deemed to be lawful, as the well-known juridical dictum has it: Al-ibaha asl-un fi-l-ashya’ i.e., “Lawfulness is a recognized principle in all things.” In other words, everything (in which is included every free act of man) is presumed to be lawful, unless it is definitely prohibited by law. This dictum is in fact based on the plain words of the Holy Qur’an: “He it is Who created for you all that is in the earth” (2:29). There are some jurists who have held the contrary view that everything is unlawful unless the law declares it to be lawful, but this view is, on the face of it, absurd and impossible; moreover it is against the clear principle laid down in the Holy Qur’an, that everything has been created for the benefit of man, which leads to the only possible presumption that everything can be made use of by him, unless a limitation is placed, by law, on that use.

The most important of the restrictive regulations of Islam are those relating to marriage, which institution is, in fact, the basic principle of human civilization. The Arabic word for marriage is nikah which originally means ‘aqd or uniting. Marriage in Islam is a sacred contract which every Muslim must enter into, unless there are special reasons why he should not. Thus in the Holy Qur’an it is said: “And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. And let those who do not find a match keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of His grace” (24: 32, 33). In another verse, marriage relationship is given the same importance as blood-relationship: “And He it is Who has created man from water, then He has made for him blood-relationship and marriage-relationship” (25:54). Hadith also lays stress upon living in a married state. The Holy Prophet is reported to have said to certain people who talked of fasting in the day-time and keeping awake during the night, praying to God and keeping away from marriage: “I keep a fast and I break it, and I pray and I sleep, and I am married, so whoever inclines to any other way than my Sunnah, he is not of me.” (Bu. 67:1). Another saying of the Holy Prophet laying stress upon marriage is worded thus: “O assembly of young people! Whoever of you has the means to support a wife (al-ba’ah), he should get married, for this (i.e., marriage) is the best means of keeping the looks cast down and guarding the chastity; and he who has not the means, let him keep fast, for this will act as castration” (Bu. 67:2). Celibacy (tubattul) was expressly forbidden by the Holy Prophet (Bu. 67:8). According to one hadith, “the man who marries perfects half his religion” (MM. 13:I-iii). Another says: “Matrimonial alliances increase friendship more than anything else” (ibid.).

The Holy Qur’an repeatedly speaks of the two mates, man and woman, as being created from each other: “O people, keep your duty to your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same (kind) and spread from these two many men and women”(4:1); “He it is Who created you from a single soul and of the same did He make his mate that he might find comfort in her” (7:189). Both these verses are generally understood as referring to the creation of the first man and the first woman, but that they signify the relation of man to woman in general is obvious from other verses: “And Allah has made wives for you from among yourselves (min unfusi-kum), and has given you sons and daughters from your wives” (16:72); “And of His signs is this, that He created mates for you from yourselves (min unfusi-kum), that you may find quiet of mind in them” (30:21). And thus, in a Makkah revelation of the middle period: “The Originator of the heavens and the earth; He has made for you pairs from among yourselves … multiplying you thereby” (42:11). Thus marriage is, according to the Holy Qur’an, the union of two souls which are one in their essence.

It will be noted that, in the above verses, the multiplication of the human race is mentioned as one of the objects of marriage. But it may be said that the multiplication of the race can be brought about without marriage, as with the lower animals; that is to say, without uniting one man with one woman for their whole life. This would be only true if man lived upon earth like other animals, if there was nothing to distinguish him from the brute creation, if there were no such thing as civilization, no society, no sense of respect for one’s own obligations and the rights of others, no sense of property and ownership. Deprived of its civilization there would be no human race at all, but a race of brutes in human form. The family, which is the real unit of the human race and the first cohesive force which makes civilization possible, owes its existence solely to marriage. If there is no marriage, then there can be no family, no ties of kinship, no force uniting the different elements of humanity and consequently, no civilization. It is through the family that humanity is held together and civilization made possible.

The institution of marriage is also responsible to a very great extent for the development of those feelings of love and service which are the pride of humanity today. The mutual love of husband and wife — a love based not on momentary passion but lifelong connection — and the consequent parental love for offspring leads to a very high development of the feeling of love of man for man as such, and thus to the disinterested service of humanity. This love is described as a sign of God in the Holy Qur’an: “And of His signs is this, that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find quiet of mind in them, and He put between you love and compassion” (30:21). The natural inclination of the male to the female and of the female to the male finds expansion through marriage and is developed, first, into a love for the children, then a love for one’s kith and kin, and ultimately into a disinterested love for the whole of humanity. The home, or the family, is in fact the first training ground of love and service. Here man finds real pleasure in the service of humanity, and the sense of service is thus gradually developed and broadened. It is in fact a training ground for every kind of morality, for it is in the home that a man learns to have a sense of his own obligation and responsibilities, to have a respect for others’ rights and, above all, to have a real pleasure in suffering for the sake of others. The Holy Prophet is reported to have said: “The best of you is he who treats his wife best” (IM. 9:50).

The Western world is undoubtedly leaning more and more to “free love” in the place of marriage, but “free love” will certainly prove the ruin of Western civilization. Marriage is being discarded, not on account of any inherent defect in it, but simply because it entails certain responsibilities on both parties to the marriage contract, and it is really these responsibilities that are shirked in avoiding marriage. Marriage undoubtedly strengthens the ties of the natural love of the two mates, but it also requires them to share each other’s cares and sorrows; for human life has its cares and sorrows as well as its pleasures. “Free love” makes each of the mates selfish in the extreme because, while the male and the female become each other’s partners in happiness, each is free to leave the other, uncared for, in his or her sorrow. Marriage again makes the two mates jointly responsible for the welfare of the children, but in “free love,” either the procreation of children is altogether avoided, and thus the end which nature has in view in the union of the male and the female is defeated, or when either of the parents has had his or her satisfaction of the other, the children may be left without a shelter. The institution of marriage is found in all countries and all nations, has been practiced in every age for thousands of years and has worked to the advancement and welfare of humanity on the whole. Free love, if practiced on so large a scale for half a century, would either put an end to the human race altogether, or bring such chaos in society as would destroy its very foundations. It may suit a few irresponsible, selfish persons who are the slaves of their passions, but there can be no spark of true love in a union which may end abruptly at the whim of either, and it can serve no useful purpose for humanity in general.